12.12.06

December 25, 2013 § Leave a comment

i’ve been crying for 2 days now
my body in shock, limbs
dazed and unsteady

my sadness feels endless, i feel like one huge convulsion, a spasm in my chest head throat eyes endlessly seizing

tho i called it off, it’s

you you

you who console me
and for a minute i’m calm
like a child soothed by its mother, i’m
supposed to be an adult but
i’m like a child who’s afraid
its mother won’t come back
a child whose only power
is to cry
to cry
i don’t know how to hold myself
i don’t know how to convince myself
that i’m strong enough
to do this
that i can make myself happy
even if we can’t please each other

i’m the one leaving but it’s your
departure that breaks my heart

 

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